


Netflix and Chill

by paradoxmachine



Series: Cardinal Red [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternative Troll Genitalia, Anal Fingering, Biting, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Freestyle Rap, Light BDSM, M/M, Meteorstuck, Naked Cuddling, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Xenophilia, sorry about that, tw for some transphobic ideation about biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 23:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradoxmachine/pseuds/paradoxmachine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Karkat, being straightforward about any form of intimacy that actually involved himself was liable to make his faint troll pump biscuit burst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Netflix and Chill

**Author's Note:**

> The usual (for me) non-standard troll genitals. I broke my naming scheme because memes are funny and always relevant.

“I want to try something,” Karkat said, twenty minutes into the movie.  
“I’m happy for you,” said Dave, punctuated by a crunch as he shoved another chip in his mouth. Karkat elbowed him. “What, right now? Can it wait, I need to know how Kate Hudson loses McConaughey. Cuz, just sayin’, the shenanigan game would have to be pretty strong to get me off of Kate Hudson.”  
Karkat elbowed him again, harder.  
“Ow, Jesus!” Dave rubbed his arm. “Fine, fine, what are you proposing here?”  
Karkat shifted up into proper sitting position to scan the room, and Dave immediately missed his body heat where he’d been pressed against his shoulder.

Dave found it impossibly endearing the way Karkat turned his head to glare into every corner like a Scourge Sister might pop out at any moment. (In his defense, it wouldn’t have been the first time.)  
“I don’t think we should talk about it out here,” Karkat mumbled conspiratorially.  
“ _Oh_.”  
Dave had to restrain himself from saying, ‘Then why did you ask me to watch a movie?’ because he already knew. For Karkat, being straightforward about any form of intimacy that actually involved _himself_ was liable to make his faint troll pump biscuit burst.

Dave shared Karkat’s suspicious once-over of the room, though he thought he accomplished it with a good deal more poise and grace.  
“Sorry, Kate,” Dave said, reaching to pause the movie. “You’re stuck with his weird, bony face for 10 days anyway, a few more hours won’t kill you.”

 

\---

 

Dave slid the door to his room shut behind them, and then leaned against it awkwardly with his hands hanging limply at his sides. There suddenly wasn’t a single casual place to put them.  
“So, uh,” he said, raising an inquiring eyebrow. “Just to be clear, we’re talking about a sex thing, right?”  
“Um.” Karkat flushed faintly and averted his eyes. “Yes.”  
“Alright, hell yes, I am _down_ ,” Dave said, and he started shedding clothes like a bird in autumn molt.  
Karkat couldn’t help but smile a little.  
“You don’t want to know what vile acts I’m scheming before you commit to it?” he said, folding his arms and twisting his smirk into a much more dignified look of mild contempt.

“Nah,” Dave said, flopping down on the bed in a puff of blankets. He’d stripped down to nothing but his boxers, his glasses, and a shit-eating grin. “I trust you.”  
“That makes one of us…” Karkat said, fidgeting with his sleeves. He kicked off his shoes before joining Dave on the bed, sinking down far more dispassionately.  
“Okay, _now_ I’m a little concerned.”  
“You should be,” Karkat scoffed. “If I can pull it off, you won’t be disappointed, but… The consequences of failure are… _dire_.”

“Aaand now I’m a lot concerned.” Dave sat up. “What horrible things are you planning on doing to me?”  
Karkat licked his lips and looked down.  
“Karkaaat?” Dave asked warily.  
“It should be fine.” Karkat ran his tongue over his lips again, and back over his teeth. “I practiced on a vegetable with only minor mutilation.”  
“Holy fuck, your seduction technique is on-point,” Dave said, contorting his face in exaggerated horror. “What are you- wait, are you talking about a blowjob?”  
“They called it ‘cock sucking,’ but if that’s the same thing, then yes,” Karkat said, matter-of-factly. “I’ve seen it time and time again in erotic film and I don’t see why I _couldn’t_ do it.”  
“Dude, you watch too much porn,” Dave said, running his hands through his hair. “I’d have to be the horniest teenager on the face of this decrepit rock to agree to that.”  
Karkat looked at him pointedly.  
“Yeah, okay,” Dave said, “You have a pretty convincing argument.”

“I just…” Karkat sighed, exasperated- not at Dave, but at himself. “I want… I’ve… I’ve imagined your face, and I want… to see that. I’d be very careful.”  
“I know you would.” Dave put a hand on the back of Karkat’s neck to steady him as he leaned in for a kiss. Truthfully, Karkat handled him as if he were made out of glass. It was weird to be treated like some precious, fragile thing. Frustrating, but also kind of… flattering.  
And nice to feel special, for once.

Karkat’s hands lifted to Dave’s shoulders, and then to his face. He slipped Dave’s shades down off his nose as they parted, then handed them back to him to captchalog. This moment. Karkat loved this moment, as cliché as it was. He loved that he was the only one who got to see him like this. He didn’t delude himself into believing this “thing” with Dave would last beyond the meteor, but for as long as it lasted he would cherish every instance that was his alone.

Dave slipped his hands under Karkat’s shirt. They were cold against his skin as they traced along the ridges of his back, inching up his hemline as he went. Karkat wriggled out of the sweater and let it fall to the floor, then immediately wrapped his arms around Dave’s waist and pulled him to his chest. He nuzzled into his neck, relishing in his warmth and his impossible softness. He could feel Dave’s heartbeat as well as his own, pulsing nervously in his chest.

Karkat still couldn’t believe he was allowed to do this. Matesprits didn’t do this, not usually. Maybe “boyfriends” did, he didn’t know.

Dave shifted his legs around Karkat’s so he could move even closer to him, sliding into his lap. He brushed his fingertips along the coarse bristles at the base of Karkat’s neck to quell the anxieties he’d never vocally admit to having. Karkat trilled softly and kissed his neck in response.

“So… yes?” Karkat asked, when his insecurity at the appropriateness of the embrace finally beat out the incredible, mind-numbing comfort and satisfaction.  
“Wha?” Dave said distractedly.  
Karkat leaned back just enough to look him in the eye. “Do you want me to… to give you a ‘blow job’?”  
Dave swallowed heavily.  
“Uh, fuck yes?” he said. Warmth flooded Karkat’s chest at the way Dave’s blush highlighted the faint freckles under his eyes. Dave continued, “I gotta tell ya, Kat, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it. Like, a whooole lot during my night time solo jam sessions.”  
“Your what?” said Karkat. Dave made a profane hand gesture. “Oh.”

Karkat licked his lips again.  
“Okay,” he said. “So I guess, just lean back and I’ll-“  
Dave cut him off by hooking his arms under his armpits, burying his hands in his hair and sliding his tongue into his mouth. He pulled him over on top of him, laughing against his parted lips.  
“Don’t-“ Dave punctuated each word with a kiss. “Over- think- it.”  
Karkat hummed into his mouth and let himself focus only on Dave’s touch. Dave’s thin lips and warm tongue. Dave’s hands in his hair, tightening and lightly pulling, then loosening to gently comb through the messy tufts with his fingers.

“Dave…” Karkat sighed. He traced a hand along Dave’s jawline, stroking rhythmically until his head fell back to reveal his throat. Karkat curled his tongue under the prominent line of muscle, until he could feel Dave’s pulse thrumming into his mouth from an artery only centimeters deep. He didn’t know how Dave could trust him like this. This was a level of intimacy even long-term matesprits rarely achieved, and even then it was difficult to cause enough damage with a single bite to kill a troll.

All he knew was that it made his head rush and his legs tense and quiver. Karkat closed his lips on Dave’s adam’s apple and pinched, with his tongue pressing against the back of his teeth just hard enough to mark. Just hard enough to make Dave’s breath catch and his fingers falter. Dave’s hands fell from his hair to caress his back, and then slipped down the back of his loose pants, to cup his ass and press him down against him.

“Karkat,” Dave intoned adoringly. Karkat’s throat tightened and he let out a series of scratchy chirps. Dave raised his eyebrows. “Whoa, I think that was a new one. What does that sound mean?”  
Karkat grunted.  
“Short answer,” he rolled his hips sharply against Dave’s, arching his back. “Arousal. Long answer I don’t have the capacity to explain right now because of the short answer.”  
“I’ll take it,” Dave said, grinning. He nuzzled into Karkat’s hair and kissed his the top of his head.

Karkat nipped lightly at his neck in response, and then dipped to suck at his bared collarbone. Dave wriggled against him, trying to edge Karkat out of his pants and underwear while maintaining as much contact as possible. Eventually he got them down to his knees, and from there Karkat kicked them off himself. Karkat’s hands worried at Dave’s chest, pinching and twisting at his small pink nubs in the delectable way that made him squirm. _There_ was a trick you couldn’t play on a troll.

“Fuuuuck, Karkat,” Dave murmured, palming at his lower back to guide the angle of his jerky grinding. He could feel Karkat’s slick liquids beginning to stain his lower belly and seep into his boxers, which he suddenly ached to have out of the way so he could feel that wetness flush against him. He reached to do so, only to have Karkat grab his wrists.

“Do you want to… Can I… Same safeword as last time?” Karkat asked breathily.  
“Yeah, yes, fuck yes,” Dave said emphatically.

Karkat smiled and leaned up and kissed him once more, and then threaded their fingers together and pressed Dave’s hands into the mattress. Karkat could feel Dave’s lower regions stir against his abdomen from even that simple gesture.

“Don’t move unless I tell you to,” Karkat said firmly. He dipped to kiss the darkening hicky he’d left on Dave’s neck, and then his chest, and then just beneath his sternum. Dave’s skin was so soft here, and beneath it there was only a thin layer of muscle to guard his tender organs. Karkat dragged his teeth lightly down his stomach, hard enough to scratch but never to break skin. He marveled at the way Dave’s muscles tensed as he fought the urge to curl away, and his breathing quickened with a fresh note of harshness.

“Stay,” Karkat commanded, squeezing Dave’s hands and then letting go. He guided one of Dave’s legs flat, stroking the thick hair on his shin the way one might a cat. Body hair, what an odd, alien thing- but he liked it. It added yet another layer of irresistible softness.

Karkat looped a leg over Dave’s as he continued to shift further down the bed. His tongue teased at the fine tufts of pale hair that trailed below Dave’s navel, and his hands brushed his hips in time, thumbs moving in slow, smooth circles. He relished every hitch in Dave’s breath as he mapped out every inch of his lower belly with his lips and tongue, persistently ignoring the bulge that struggled against Dave’s underwear.

“Kark-ahhhhht,” Dave whined, turning his cheek into the pillow. “Fuuuuck, fuck, I need…”  
“What do you need, Dave?” Karkat crooned.  
“I need you to- to- to god, stop fucking around, you’re killing me,” Dave complained.  
Karkat sank his fangs sharply into Dave’s hip bone, drawing twelve stark beads of blood. Dave gasped, twisting his hands in the sheets. He bit his lip to stifle the noise.  
“What do you _need_ , Dave?” Karkat repeated, watching the red well up and start to sluggishly drip.  
“ _Fuck_ ,” was all Dave could manage. “Please, Karkat. Please, please, suck me, Karkat. I need _you_. I need you so fucking badly.” 

Karkat kissed the wound gently, staining his dark lips red and filling his mouth with the bitter taste of iron. Finally he tugged Dave’s boxers down off his hips and let his erection curve freely against his stomach. Karkat couldn’t help but pause to inspect it. He’d never seen it this close before.

“Kaaaarkaaaaat,” Dave complained, and Karkat administered a warning nip to his inner thigh.  
Karkat took his time disentangling Dave’s underwear from his legs and peppering his thighs with kisses. His palm pressed flat against Dave’s thigh to spread his legs further, stroking the sensitive skin with the backs of his nails until chilled bumps began to rise.

And then he licked, very slowly, from the cleft at the base of his sack, and along the prominent vein to the tip. He glanced up to meet Dave’s eye with his mouth open and his bottom lip only just maintaining contact. Dave’s head twisted on the pillow and he bit his lip hard to mute another desperate plea.  
“You look so perfect right now…” Karkat said, almost rapturously. “It makes me want to leave you like this and fill a pail on my own.”  
Dave whimpered, and it was the most wholly emasculating and yet beautiful sound Karkat had ever heard.

Very, very carefully, Karkat wrapped his lips around him and drew him into his mouth.  
The heat was like nothing Dave had ever felt before. He gave a breathy, quavering sigh and let his eyes drift slowly closed. Karkat pet Dave’s leg soothingly as he moved down his shaft, as far as he could take him, and then slowly back up. This wasn’t _so_ hard- and Dave’s reactions were more than worth the effort.

“Ah, ffffff _uck,_ Karkat,” Dave panted. Karkat pressed his other hand firmly on Dave’s quivering hips to keep him lying flat. His mouth came off him with a satisfying slurp.  
“Don’t move,” Karkat reminded him.  
“Mhnnn… yeah.”

Karkat returned to his work, adding his hand to smear slick saliva and precum down his length, moving it in tandem to his mouth. Dave moaned weakly and rolled his head back, pressing it hard into the pillow. His knees arched involuntarily, and his shin brushed up between Karkat’s legs.

Karkat hummed around Dave’s cock, and Dave felt something bristle against his leg- and then the warm, wet something began to curl tightly around his ankle.  
“Fuck- Karkat, _fuck_ yes,” Dave rambled senselessly. “Oh god, yes- Keep- just like that, fuuuuu _uck_.”  
“Mmh!” Karkat said affirmingly. His fingernails were digging into Dave’s thigh, but the juxtaposition of the pain only made the pleasure that much stronger.  
“Yes, _yes_ , Karkat- Ohhhh, fuck, I’m gonna… you better-“

But Karkat ignored him. He tightened his grip, pressed his tongue flat against him and actually _sucked_ -

Dave’s legs tensed wildly but to his credit he managed to keep his hips under control as orgasm seized him and he moaned Karkat’s name. Semen flooded Karkat’s mouth with its overwhelming salty taste, but he kept his lips clamped tightly around him until he managed to swallow. The look on Dave’s face was everything he’d imagined, and more.

“Karkat… Kiss me,” Dave pleaded.  
Karkat slid off him with a wet sound and leaned up on his elbows.  
“Not yet,” he said, “And… pause, I have a question.”  
“Me too,” said Dave. “Can I touch you?”  
“Yeah, sure.”

Dave immediately began to pet Karkat’s hair, trying to convey the depths of his gratitude and his affection using only his hands. Karkat thrummed quietly and nuzzled into his palms.  
“So, I thought human males didn’t have nooks?” Karkat said, glancing away sheepishly.  
“Yeah, uh,” said Dave, “We don’t?”  
“Hmm,” said Karkat. “Then what… is that?”  
He ran a finger around the tight outer muscles of Dave’s anus.  
Dave laughed out loud, and had to pull a hand away to cover his mouth.  
“That’s an asshole, _asshole_ ,” Dave said, fighting to contain himself because he knew how much Karkat hated being laughed at. He took a deep breath to regain his composure. “That’s- it’s a completely different thing, men and women both have them and they’re for shitting.”

“Yes?” Karkat said, blinking at him very slowly.  
“Oh my god,” said Dave. “Have I been vitally misguided about the purpose of a nook this _whole_ time? Like, that _is_ where Trolls stick the uh, the bulgey hate dick, right?”  
“Yes?” Karkat said again, looking and sounding more and more impatient by the second. “What would the point be of having separate openings for mating and waste disposal?”  
“Well for _humans_ ,” Dave said. “It’s… Well, most humans- not me, obviously, but most- grow inside of the female parent. So the vagina- the girl only hole- connects to an organ called a womb- and some other bits I guess- where the baby chills until it’s ready to be born. But I suppose… Well, yeah, obviously, Trolls don’t do that. So it makes sense that you’ve got like… like a cloaca or whatever. Like a bird or a lizard.”

“I guess,” said Karkat. He grimaced. “Can we not compare me to earthbeasts?”  
“Yeah, sorry,” Dave said. He reached for Karkat’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Karkat squeezed back.  
“So what you’re saying is,” Karkat said, “you wouldn’t receive any pleasure if I did anything to it?”  
“Well-“  
Karkat’s eyes widened. He’d actually seen Dave’s penis stir- and his own throb stalk, still wrapped around his ankle, tightened in response.

Dave cleared his throat and tried again. “Well, okay, well. Well yeah. When, um. When two human guys are _together_ , that’s generally how they do the, um, the sex. But I’m not sure if I…”  
Karkat dipped to spread and kiss his inner cheek.  
“Up to you.”  
“Oh my jesus, what are you gonna…” Dave flushed deeply. “O-okay. Unpause?”   
“Unpause,” Karkat echoed.

For now, he allowed Dave’s hand to stay tangled in his hair. He liked the reassuring weight of it, even if it compromised his dominating role.  
“You can move this time, but you can’t touch yourself,” Karkat instructed. Dave only nodded and tightened his grip. Karkat reached to hold Dave’s other hand.

He could tell he was pushing the boundaries of Dave’s comfort levels, even if he didn’t understand why it affected him so strongly. This pleased him immensely.  
Karkat nudged Dave’s legs a little wider, shifted until he was comfortable, and then cautiously began kissing down the line of taut skin that lead to his opening. Dave squeezed his hand.  
“If it’s too much, please tell me, Dave…” Karkat said, hesitating. Dave took a deep breath.  
“…Yeah,” Dave said. “Thanks, I… Thank you. I’m okay.”  
Karkat nuzzled Dave’s thigh with his cheek. “I’m going to make you scream my name.”  
“Fuck you,” Dave said, laughing just to relieve the tension. “Nobody makes Dave Strider do anything.”  
“We’ll see about that,” said Karkat.

He lowered his head and pressed his tongue flat against Dave’s entrance. Immediately Dave’s knees began to quiver and Karkat gave him another searching glance, but Dave’s eyes were tightly closed, and even with all his practice at reading him Karkat couldn’t tell if the purse of his lips was in discomfort or just in focus. Karkat squeezed his hand, and Dave squeezed back.

Slowly but deliberately, Karkat eased his tongue inside him.  
“Oooh my gh…”Dave bit his lip and exhaled sharply out his nose.  
Dave’s body tensed and tightened in protest, but Karkat ignored this and forced his tongue in deeper.  
“Hhhhhhhohmmmy… god, that- that should nooot feel…” Dave breathed in a barely comprehensible jumble. Karkat pulled back, discouraged. Dave was more limp than hard and Karkat still hadn’t heard or felt anything definitively positive.  
“Should I stop?” Karkat asked bitterly.

“No, no,” Dave said quickly, pressing his head back down. “Don’t stop, god, no, don’t stop.”  
“…Tell me how it feels,” Karkat insisted. “Tell me what you need.”  
“Yeah,” Dave said breathlessly. His hand slid down the back of Karkat’s neck, stroking softly.  
Karkat thrust his tongue back inside of him and began a steady jabbing motion, which he then accompanied by reaching up to stroke Dave smoothly in time. Dave’s hips lifted from the bed and his hand fell from Karkat’s neck to cover his mouth- but a harried moan still escaped from between his fingers. Karkat could feel Dave getting firmer in his grip with every pass.

“Fu-ah… Fuck, it feels…” Dave’s hand drifted to cover his eyes. “Really… Really weird, but really good, like… like you’re inside me, uh- cuz you are. And like…”  
Dave groped blindly for words. “It feels… like… like… I love you.”  
It slipped out before he could even think about what he was saying.

Karkat recoiled so quickly that, were it not for Dave’s grip on his hand, he would have tumbled backward right off the bed.  
“ _What!?_ ” Karkat squawked, staring at him in wide-eyed horror.  
“Fuck, what?” Dave said stupidly, before the reality of what he’d said dawned on him like a dream of being naked in public. “-Shit, fuck, shit, I- Fuck.”  
“What the fuck, Dave!!” Karkat shouted, his face contorting very quickly from alarm to hurt, and then to rage. “I cannot _believe_ \- _mother_ grubfucker- how- _why_ would you say that to me while I’m meal tunnel deep in your nook!?”

Dave sat up, still desperately gripping Karkat’s hand.

He didn’t know what to say. It was out there now, there was no taking it back without making things infinitely worse. And… he didn’t really want to take it back. Instead, he threw an arm around Karkat’s middle and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his shoulder.

For a long time Karkat didn’t react at all- and that was terrifying. No exaggerated shouting or swearing, and he didn’t even move, just sat there holding Dave’s hand and letting him cling to him.

And then he said, “…Dave.”  
Dave only hugged him tighter.  
“ _Dave_ ,” Karkat said more firmly.  
“Yeah?” said Dave nonchalantly.  
“It’s fine, I’m not mad.”  
“Fucking shit, man,” Dave said, apprehensively leaning back to look at him. Karkat didn’t look angry anymore, but there was a look in his eyes that Dave had never seen before. “You should be, I’m such a _dick_. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Karkat locked eyes with him. “Don’t think you’re getting off unpunished.”  
“Oh,” said Dave.  
“Get on your knees, bitch.”  
Reluctantly, Dave let go of Karkat’s hand and slipped away. Half of him was screaming at him to address this now while the iron was hot- but the other half of him was nineteen, painfully aroused, and getting bossed around by his (surprisingly intimidating, right now) alien lover.

Dave splayed out on the sheets on his hands and knees, looking back at Karkat from between his spread legs. He could see the troll’s throb stalk writhing lazily against his legs, smearing them with sticky, semi-transparent slime.  
“What are you going to do to me?” Dave said, affecting a tone of wary provocation.  
“I told you,” Karkat said, shuffling up behind him. “I’m going to make you scream my name.”  
“Please,” scoffed Dave. “If I had a nickel for every time a troll told me that.”  
“You would have two of them, from me,” said Karkat. “Shut the fuck up and put your hands between your knees.” 

Dave did as he was told, watching Karkat upside-down with his face and shoulders pressed into the mattress. He felt exposed in all the best ways. Vulnerable, but safe. Dave felt safer naked and spread open in a room with Karkat than he’d ever felt alone or with anyone else, fully dressed.

He shivered when Karkat’s legs brushed the backs of his as he leaned over him, reaching around him to trace down his forearms to his wrists. Karkat’s stalk slid probingly up his thigh, its bristles stiff and heavy with fluid. Karkat offered Dave’s wrists to it and it snaked around them eagerly, squeezing almost tight enough to hurt.

“Fucking troll jesus, did you just-“ Dave gasped, laughing. “Amazing, this is amazing. Why doesn’t everyone date a troll?”  
“Uh, everyone on the meteor kind of does, Dave,” Karkat said disdainfully.  
“Oh yeah,” said Dave. He tried to watch what Karkat was doing, but the angle was awkward and the view was obstructed by a lot of limbs. But he could feel him moving, and could feel his stalk getting tighter and dripping in strands down his forearms.

“Dave…” Karkat crooned. He brushed his fingers over his own coils, collecting a thick coating of pale red. “I’m going to fuck you.”  
Dave moaned softly, too dizzy with arousal to question it.  
“Please,” he begged, his back arched and his legs spread wide. “Please fuck me, Karkat, I want you so bad.”

Karkat placed a hand on the small of his back, and traced a sticky fingertip slowly along his entrance. It took all of Dave’s self-control not to rock back onto it- but he let Karkat lead, let him tease him until he wanted to scream. And then smoothly Karkat pushed a finger inside him, all the way up to the knuckle.

Dave gave a shuddering sigh and forced himself to relax. He was so worked up, even having come once already. Karkat’s touch was so careful, so gentle, and so agonizingly slow, moving in and out of him until he’d loosened enough to add a second finger. This time the stretch was uncomfortable, and Dave winced- but it wasn’t painful. Just… heh, “alien.”

“Is that the best you’ve got?” Dave said defiantly. “I don’t see how you’re gonna live up to your promises at this- ah!”  
Dave jerked as Karkat’s fingers brushed something inside him and pleasure lightning bolted through his stomach and down to his knees.  
“Oh fuck!” said Dave.  
“You okay?” Karkat asked apprehensively.  
“Super really fucking okay!” Dave said frantically. “Oh my god, do that again.”

With a bit of adjusting, Karkat shifted his angle to strike that spot with every thrust of his fingers. Dave writhed uncontrollably, hips rocking roughly back onto him.  
“Fuu-fauhh-! Fuck, Karkat, ah!” Dave moaned. Karkat had never seen him like this. He thought, he should have tried this so much sooner. Dave’s utter deterioration was making Karkat’s globes ache, and with his other hand he reached to touch himself in time.  
“ _Dave_ …” Karkat panted breathlessly.  
“Karkat- you’re so- ah-amazing,” Dave stuttered. “Kar- ahh! Karkat!”

And then before Karkat could even think to stop him, (he was slightly preoccupied,) Dave pressed his wrists up between his legs and guided Karkat’s stalk around his shaft. The feel of it tightening around him made him almost come on the spot.  
“You fucking idiot!” Karkat shouted, but he didn’t stop what he was doing.  
“Fucking genius, you mean!” Dave retorted. “Oh fuck, Karkat, that feels- _Karkat_!”

Dave quivered violently as he came, thrusting down into the curls of Karkat’s stalk and then rolling back onto his fingers. As the last waves were coursing through him Karkat followed him, staining from his abs to his chest in glistening red that showered into the sheets like heavy rain.

Dave fell limply into the mess, gulping for air like a man nearly drowned. Karkat laid on top of him, nuzzling into his shoulder blades.  
“For fuck’s sake, Dave,” Karkat said, wrapping his arms around him. “Don’t do that shit without talking to me first, I am _not_ going to be responsible for my genitals snapping yours like a little plantoffshoot.”  
Dave choked on his laughter as he fought for breath.  
“Karkat my penis isn’t a twig, it’s fine,” he said, reaching to stroke the back of his hand. “Better than fine, oh my god, I’ve never come that hard in my _life_.”  
“I’m serious, Dave,” Karkat said sternly, but he couldn’t make himself sound mad.

He wanted to lay there forever, just like this. Slimy and disgusting and with Dave in his arms.  
“…You didn’t even try for a bucket that time,” Dave noted, after he’d caught his breath.  
Karkat shrugged. That was his only reply for a long moment, and then he said, “It just seems so pointless.”  
“Budge up and let me roll over,” said Dave. Karkat lifted himself with his elbows and let Dave turn to face him. He scooted up to nestle his face in the crook of Dave’s neck, and Dave draped his arms bonelessly around his waist. “What do you mean, pointless?”

Karkat shook his head and sighed.  
“Just a bunch of bullshit left over from Alternia,” he explained.  
Dave kissed his forehead. “Tell me about it?”  
Karkat sighed again. “It just feels… really weird to come like that. In Alternian culture, auto-stimulation is a major faux pas. We’re supposed to be providing seed for the mother grub, and it’s useless if not pre-combined. And if you can’t provide both pails when the drones come to collect, they kill you. So it feels… wasteful.”  
“Jesus fucking christ,” said Dave. His arms tightened around him.

“It’s stupid,” said Karkat. “I know it doesn’t matter anymore, and I was still just under pailing age when we entered the game so it’s not like I ever even _experienced_ it. But it’s just… It’s really, really hard to let go of those preconceived notions.”  
“Yeah,” Dave said softly, rubbing his back. “Shit man, you don’t gotta tell me that. I just got finger banged by a dude. Not something I ever planned for, let me tell you.”  
Karkat laughed and kissed his neck.

“It is cleaner, at least,” said Karkat. “Pointless or not, maybe I should keep using it.”  
“Hell the fuck no!” said Dave. “I’m a huge slut for your alien slime. I wouldn’t give up my bukake boyfriend for anything!”  
Karkat’s face lit with pink.  
“Dave,” he said. “You just called me your boyfriend. Again.”  
“I- shit, sorry.” Dave frowned. “God damn it, it just slips out. I’m sorry, and… and I’m sorry for… that other thing I said.”

“It’s fine,” Karkat said stiffly. “I know you didn’t mean it.”  
“Whoa, whoa, back the fuck up,” said Dave. He shifted up onto his elbows. “Karkat. You look me in the eye right now.”  
Karkat grimaced, but begrudgingly did as he was told. Dave thought, in that moment, that Karkat looked as delicate as he treated him. The fear in his eyes hurt Dave more than if he’d been stabbed.  
“I’m not sorry that I said it,” Dave said, “just that I said it _then_. Bear with me cuz this is gonna sound really gay, but I’ve been… waiting for the right moment, and… there was just never a time that was special enough to be what you deserve.”

“Well. It was pretty special,” Karkat said, turning his head away- but Dave put a hand on his cheek and guided him back.  
“No, no no no, no,” Dave said. “We’re not gonna do the ‘avoid the issue by turning it into a joke’ thing, trust me, I am a motherfucking expert on that biz.”  
“Dave, I _said_ it’s fine,” Karkat complained, but his voice was quavering.  
“Karkat,” Dave said. “Karkat Geromy Vantas, I love you.”

  
“ _Where_ the fuck did you get ‘Geromy’ from?” Karkat choked, shaking.  
“I dunno,” said Dave. “I needed a middle name for it to be dramatic.”  
He kissed him. Karkat kissed him back like he was starved for it, arms tight around him.  
“ _Why_?” Karkat said, when finally they parted.  
“Uh it just seemed really funny to me, I don’t know,” said Dave.  
“Not the name, maggotbreath,” Karkat said, rolling his eyes.

Dave kissed him again, running his fingers through his hair.  
“I know,” he said. “Sorry. Shit. Fuck. Damn it, for all the talking I do, I sure am shit at saying anything.”  
Karkat smiled. “Forget about it.”  
“ _No_ ,” said Dave. “Motherfucker, we are getting our chick flick on. Fuck it, I’m doing it, I’m freestyling it.”  
“Oh no.”  
“Give me a beat.”  
“No.”  
“Give me a beat, Karkat!”  
“ _No!_ ” 

Karkat sat up and pulled the blanket up over his head.  
“Fine,” said Dave, “I can spit some rhymes without a beat, ain’t no thang. You listening?”  
“Unless the merciful horrorterrors strike me down,” Karkat said, voice muffled by the blanket. “Oh blessed abominations, cleanse me from this infernal rock.”

Dave cleared his throat.  
“D. Strider in the house, openin’ up  
‘bout all my deep personal feelings an’ stuff  
See this guy named Karkat’s got me feelin like a scrub  
Cuz I see him in the hallway ‘n’ it makes my heart thump  
This guy, tries to be mean  
To keep me from seein’ what I’m seein’  
But I seen it, he’s the sweetest  
Man or Troll there’s ever been  
‘n’ I’m feelin’ more at home with him  
Than any place I ever lived ‘n’  
More and more that’s all I need is  
To be with him, near him,  
Heeding to his every whim  
Cuz all I want is for him to see  
The him I see when he looks at me  
Like I’m the world and everything in it  
But he’s what keeps my world lit  
With all his thoughtful consideration  
And also his really hot masturbation  
‘n’ I guess this is unravelling so I’ll end it quick  
Karkat Vantas, you’re the pronce of my stupid dick.”

“Oh my god,” Karkat wheezed. He was laughing so hard he could barely breathe, and finally ceded to peeking out from under the blanket.  
“You make me feel like I matter,” Dave said unwaveringly. “I’ve never felt like that before. And you just, you care about people so much- not just me, everybody. And. And you look so beautiful when you get worked up about something you care about, I know I get on your case for it, but you know what. I think I could listen to you talk about romcoms for the rest of my life and not get tired of it.”

“Damn it, Dave…” Karkat said. All the laughter had gone from him now. “I don’t want to love you.”  
Dave’s expression fell.  
“…That’s fine,” he said, voice thick. “Wow, I mean. Yeah. That’s…”  
“ _Dave_ ,” Karkat said firmly. “In less than half a sweep we arrive in the new session. Who do you think is going to die first when we get there?”  
“Karkat, don’t.”  
“Be reasonable, Dave.” Karkat shook his head. “You’ll have your real friends back once we’re there. You can date Jade and bro with John, and forget all about the things you did to pass time on the way there.”

“Karkat!” Dave shouted. Karkat glared at him defiantly. “Karkat that’s not gonna happen. Listen, I know I can’t promise that everything’s going to be okay. But if somehow, against all the odds, we both make it through this… You’re the one I want to wake up to every morning. You, not anyone else.”  
“Dave…” Karkat averted his eyes.  
“If you don’t love me, then, okay, that’s how you feel,” Dave said. He reached out to touch Karkat’s shoulder. “But don’t you believe for a second that you’re not the most important person I’ve ever known.”

 Karkat winced at his touch. He reached up to touch his hand, and held it there.  
“…Of course I love you, stupid,” Karkat whispered, in the softest voice Dave had ever heard him use.  
Dave pulled him to his chest and held him tightly, rocking slightly.  
“Can we just… pretend that everything’s going to be okay for the next eight months?” Dave said quietly.  
“…Okay,” said Karkat. He hugged him. 

Dave sighed heavily. “I’m glad we had this conversation covered in spunk, by the way.”  
Karkat snorted. “Yeah, we should probably go to the ablution room and clean up…”  
“And grab a Troll Gatorade for your electrolytes, you’ve gotta be hells of dehydrated right now.”  
Karkat smiled. “And then we finish our movie?”  
Dave grinned back. “Of fucking course.” 

Karkat tilted his head up to kiss him. He lingered there for a long time, his eyes lidded, with Dave's warm breath clouding over his cheeks.  
“I love you, Dave," he said, defiant of all his doubts, because in this moment it was the only thing he knew for certain.  
Dave pressed his cheek against Karkat's, and sighed. “I love you, too.”

 

\---

 

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Dave fell asleep.


End file.
